Saturday 11 April 2020

Don’t name that baby – Part 2


The auras that names, especially first names, convey to us are, apart from their etymological significations (often unknown and these days mostly irrelevant), presumably related to the characteristics of people of that name who were prominent in our childhood experience, to well known people with that name, and to subtle psycholinguistic characteristics of the name itself  - and which may be impossible to disentangle from the characteristics of those to whom it is attached. Naturally those meanings and associations can change with time and circumstance. Generational effects arise, so that “Leonardo” triggers quite a different set of subjective reflexes for fans of one of the versions of the film ‘Titanic’ than for those more familiar with the Louvre’s priceless enigmatic smirk. The way names get abbreviated, or not, also speaks volumes about the personality they belong to … or the personality they help create. Consider the difference between a Dave and a David, a Bob and a Rob, a Margaret, a Maggie, and a Madge, a Ken and a Kenneth. Worlds apart. I once overheard a chihuahua on the seafront at Frinton, Essex, being addressed by its owner as Kenneth. A pooch with problems, I suspect.

Since names are such a rich source of subjective observations and thus of potentially shared interpretations, and because of the recognition of those qualities, they become a valuable ingredient of fictional characterisations, humorously stereotyped ones especially. Informationally, they are rich, everyday illustrations of Jerome Bruner’s phrase “going beyond the information given”. They are also splendid instances of tacit knowledge, that implicit background we engage when we understand something profoundly, intuitively and expertly, first named as such by Michael Polanyi in 1958, and more recently beloved of knowledge management enthusiasts.

I have never seen a report of anyone being accused of “nameism”, a cruel infliction indeed, but parents do it to their offspring all the time, “a boy named Sue” being one extreme form of this insensitivity. Character-building or what? Calling your offspring Wayne or Sharon isn’t doing them any favours. Are we ever likely to see a Prime Minister called Ashley, Damien or Joel?  Whether we base our answer on trends in names or trends in the quality of prime ministers, one is tempted to reply – with only slight cynicism - “increasingly likely”. I’ve had some difficulty remembering that a recent prime minister who looked as though she should be called Alison was, in fact, called Theresa. Admittedly I have great difficulty remembering her at all. And then, smashing the mould, we have the great outlier. If you take the cable car to the summit of Mount Srd, which lies behind Dubrovnik, you might notice this:



Oh, to be big in Croatia. By the way, I’m so thankful and relieved that Boris is over the worst of his coronavirus attack, and I wish him well for a full and speedy recovery. I look forward to him leading the country through and out of this current crisis; he’s the greatest leader we’ve had in many decades, the one man who can unite the nation after all the divisions of Brexit and now this dreadful disease. Boris will be Boris. While previous generations might have associated Boris with something Russian – Pasternak, Godunov or Yeltsin perhaps – at present there is only one Boris, the one and only, the charismatic, witty, slightly bumbling, hair-ruffling … Boris. Can’t wait to have him back in charge.

We didn’t have Borises when I was growing up: we had David, Michael, Peter, Stephen, Richard … but no Boris. Girls tended to be called Margaret, Elizabeth, Christine or Susan. Anne or Jane was their default middle name, as was John for boys. Fashions come and go, and sometimes they come round again. Thus we can often hazard a reasonable guess at the likely age, to within a decade or so, of someone by their name, and this is especially so with female names.

There’s far more to this business than historical fashion, though. I can only comment on this from the perspective of white middle-C20 middle-Englishness. People from my kind of background probably recognise – with a few disagreements based on personal experience, gender, location, and what used to be called class - names which sound old fashioned and sexless (Arthur, Walter, Horace, Mabel, Edith, Edna), sexy (Marilyn, Mandy), "sissy" (Cecil, Cyril, Nigel), prettily feminine and probably respectably affluent (Emily, Lucy, Sophie, Wendy), pompous, effete and stupid (Rupert), sophisticated (Deborah or Debbie, probably because of the suggestion of “debutante”), self-effacing (Tim, Melvyn), the chavvy football names of council estate chic (Darren, Wayne, Gary, Dean, Lee) and their female analogues (Tracey, Sharon, Stacey, Lisa – that’s Lisa with an “ah”), and good, honest bloke names – Dave, Bob, Barry, Brian – drivers of white vans and wearers of spotty overalls. One might also be willing to accept the suggestion that people who worship motor vehicles beyond the point of reasonableness are not infrequently called Kevin, that professional snooker players (and not a few media-savvy scientists) have to be called Steve, that you will never see a sign in a Soho doorway declaring “Mavis – New Model” and that a card in a phone box offering the services of someone higher up in the same profession calling herself Sadie goes “beyond the information given”, that thyroidally hyperactive young vicars of deprived inner London parishes are called Colin, and that clairvoyants – when not in Red Cloud or Bear Mountain mode - answer to the names Doris or Ruth. OK, accuse me of snobbery and elitism, but no one who really knows me has ever called me Bob.

Over 20 years ago a study was published from Southampton which investigated the names of women presenting at genitourinary clinics, on the assumption that this would be an indirect indicator of promiscuous behaviour. The study asked whether there was any truth in the notion that “Essex girl” names – Tracey, Sandra and Sharon – really did represent women of easy morals. Not so, for the authors found that the most frequently encountered name was Sarah, followed by Emma and Kelly. In this instance the slur was refuted. And good for Essex; it’s the only way (Frinton apart). But you get the idea: unkind stereotypes efficiently concentrated and crystallised into a moniker, a phenomenon wickedly exploited by humourists from Sir John Betjeman to Alan Bennett to Barry Humphries. “G’day, Glynis. Glynis, that’s a lovely name”.

And ‘Python’, always a rich source of profound insights into the human condition, a treasure trove of gems philosophical, psychological, social, linguistic and much else, observations nurtured by childhoods in slightly disturbing towns like Guildford and Weston-super-Mare and then ripened by public school and Oxbridge. Recall that delightful exchange from the Monty Python “Marriage Guidance” sketch, first broadcast in October 1969:

“And what is the name of your ravishing wife? Wait. Don’t tell me – it’s something to do with moonlight – it goes with her eyes – it’s soft and gentle, warm and yielding, deeply lyrical and yet tender and frightened like a tiny white rabbit”.

“It’s Deirdre”.

Be very careful how you name that baby. Happy Easter. Stay at home and stay safe.

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