Wednesday 20 July 2016

Further tensions over North Hoylake Island



This week has seen renewed tensions over rival claims for the hotly contested North Hoylake Island, which is situated in the politically sensitive Liverpool Bay area of the Irish Sea.


 North Hoylake Island (left of centre) photographed very secretly on Sunday afternoon

Despite the United Nations showing little interest in this dispute, angry words have been exchanged between representatives of the interests of North Hoylake Island itself, and of the Wirral, West Kirby, Hilbre Island, Little Hilbre Island, Liverpool, Wales, the EU, and a man with a dog on Hoylake beach.

North Hoylake Island is of course of immense strategic significance since, whoever controls it also controls access to the estuary of the River Dee, with its vast reserves of water, sand, mud and other commodities. The shipping lanes between North Hoylake Island and the mainland of the Wirral are some of the busiest in the region, especially on days when West Kirby boating lake is popular. The value of cargo passing through this stretch of water is simply incalculable.

Unconfirmed reports suggest that North Hoylake Island is secretly being developed, possibly with a fish and chip franchise or even an unlicensed soft drinks stall. There are rumours that a Portaloo may have been installed, ostensibly for defensive purposes only, although – tellingly - its door is alleged to directly face Hoylake. An illicit ice cream van making the crossing to North Hoylake Island from the mainland at low tide is said to have been intercepted by an elderly lady asking for a 99. She has not been seen since.

These reports are, to repeat, unverifiable. However, a man who has lived in Hoylake for many years and was interviewed while exercising his bloodhound on the beach dismissed the very idea of North Hoylake Island. It didn’t even exist, he claimed. It was, he insisted, a well known mirage, a curious optical phenomenon caused by refraction of the air on warm days. The man did not want to be named, but the dog was believed to be called Ponsonby.

No spokesperson from Little Hilbre Island was available for comment, probably because nobody actually lives there.
 
While tensions continue to simmer, resolution of this issue appears to be as far away as ever.