This week has seen renewed tensions over rival claims for
the hotly contested North Hoylake Island, which is situated in the politically sensitive
Liverpool Bay area of the Irish Sea.
North Hoylake Island (left of centre) photographed very secretly
on Sunday afternoon
Despite the United Nations showing little interest in this
dispute, angry words have been exchanged between representatives of the
interests of North Hoylake Island itself, and of the Wirral, West Kirby, Hilbre
Island, Little Hilbre Island, Liverpool, Wales, the EU, and a man with a dog on
Hoylake beach.
North Hoylake Island is of course of immense strategic
significance since, whoever controls it also controls access to the estuary of
the River Dee, with its vast reserves of water, sand, mud and other commodities.
The shipping lanes between North Hoylake Island and the mainland of the Wirral
are some of the busiest in the region, especially on days when West Kirby
boating lake is popular. The value of cargo passing through this stretch of
water is simply incalculable.
Unconfirmed reports suggest that North Hoylake Island is
secretly being developed, possibly with a fish and chip franchise or even an unlicensed
soft drinks stall. There are rumours that a Portaloo may have been installed, ostensibly
for defensive purposes only, although – tellingly - its door is alleged to directly
face Hoylake. An illicit ice cream van making the crossing to North Hoylake
Island from the mainland at low tide is said to have been intercepted by an
elderly lady asking for a 99. She has not been seen since.
These reports are, to repeat, unverifiable. However, a man
who has lived in Hoylake for many years and was interviewed while exercising
his bloodhound on the beach dismissed the very idea of North Hoylake Island. It
didn’t even exist, he claimed. It was, he insisted, a well known mirage, a
curious optical phenomenon caused by refraction of the air on warm days. The
man did not want to be named, but the dog was believed to be called Ponsonby.
No spokesperson from Little Hilbre Island was available for
comment, probably because nobody actually lives there.
While tensions continue to simmer, resolution of this issue appears to be as far away as ever.
